Showcasing the Immortal: WrestleMania

I have often said that if I could do any one thing for the rest of my life, it would be to wrestle professionally. And if boxing is known as the “beautiful science,” than I would argue that professional wrestling should be called the “majestic art.” This coming Sunday is the biggest professional wrestling event of the year: WrestleMania XXVIII.

WrestleMania has many monikers: The Showcase of the Immortals, The Granddaddy of Them All, and The Grandest Stage of Them All. WrestleMania moments are like boy scout badges and collecting them as a superstar is revered.

The master of WrestleMania moments is WWE Hall of Famer Shawn Michaels. He has stolen the show with matches like one of the first Ladder Matches at WrestleMania X against Razor Ramon to determine the Undisputed Intercontinental Champion, his back-and-forth WWE Championship contest against Stone Cold Steve Austin with special guest enforcer “Iron” Mike Tyson at WrestleMania XIV, his return-to-the-Grandest-Stage-after-five-years-away match against Chris Jericho at WrestleMania XIX, his textbook contest against Kurt Angle at WrestleMania 21, all of which are matches that he lost. He’s also known for his 60-Minute Iron Man victory over Bret Hart in overtime to capture his first WWE Championship ever at WrestleMania XII. A man of many monikers himself—The Showstopper, The Main Event, The Heartbreak Kid, the Icon—Shawn is the only professional wrestler ever dubbed “Mr. WrestleMania.”  But arguably the most dominant presence at WrestleMania is Undertaker.

At WrestleMania XXV The Showstopper and the Dead Man when toe to toe but it would be Undertaker who prevailed. One year later, at WrestleMania XXVI, the two would face off one more time with Shawn Michaels’s career hanging in the balance. And despite his legendary resilience, it was Undertaker who would win, and send Shawn into retirement.

Losing to Undertaker at WrestleMania is nothing to be ashamed of. Where others seek to collect memorable moments, ‘Taker collects wins. Going into this year, Undertaker is 19-0 in matches contest at the Showcase of the Immortals. Among those Undertake has bested are WWE Hall of Famers Michaels, Jake “The Snake” Roberts, Jimmy “Superfly” Snuka, “The Nature Boy” Ric Flair, 2012 Hall of Fame inductee Edge, and future Hall of Famers Randy Orton, Kane (twice), and Triple H (twice). He even won a 2-1 match that was literally no small feat as he was pitted against the 7-foot, 500-pound Big Show and the 6’6”, 350-pound A-Train. Being 19-0 in WrestleMania matches, as commentator Michael Cole often points out, is akin to being 19-0 in Super Bowls. To call Undertaker the Joe Montana of WrestleMania would be to say that Joe Montana won 19 Super Bowls, including ones against the likes of Dan Marino, Bart Starr, Troy Aikman, Steve Young, Brett Favre, Peyton Manning (twice), and Tom Brady (twice). And this year, he looks to make it an even 20 as he faces Triple H for the third time, including the second time in as many WrestleManias. This year, however, the two men will face one another in a Hell in a Cell match, a match not seen at WrestleMania since WrestleMania XV where ‘Taker defeated Big Boss Man. And as an added bonus, Triple H’s long-time friend and the man who opposed and defeat Undertaker in the first-ever Hell in a Cell match (at Badd Blood in 1997), Shawn Michaels, will be the special guest referee. This will likely be the last match for both men and, thereby, signifies the end of an era as both are seemingly the last two “active” superstars began near the end of the Golden Era into the New Generation and then into the Attitude Era, survived through the Ruthless Aggression Era and continued to be successful in the PG Era. But now, as WWE moves in the New Era, these to colossal superstars will bid the ring adieu with what promises to be among the greatest matches in WWE, let alone WrestleMania, history.

It was just 10 years ago, WrestleMania X-8, when arguably the two most charismatic professional wrestlers of their respective eras squared off in the squared circle. The Rock would beat Hulk Hogan that night, but it may have been Hogan who won the bigger victory by reviving his career. The following year, The Great One, The People’s Champion, The Rock would face off for the third and final WrestleMania time with Stone Cold Steve Austin. Austin had beaten the Rock at both WrestleMania XV and XVII. But at XIX, it would be The Rock who would outlast Austin in what would be Austin’s final match. Rock and Austin personified the “Attitude Era” of WWE. The Rock would look to make it a clean sweep at WrestleMania XXVIII by defeating John Cena. Hogan was the best of his generation, Austin arguably the best of the generation that followed, and Cena is arguably the best of this new generation. By beating all three, and by beating all three at WrestleMania, The Rock will place his claim on being the greatest superstar of all time. Of course, Triple H and Undertaker would probably have something to say about that.

As would Chris Jericho and CM Punk. Both men have claimed to “the best in the world.” And this year, one man will be able to say that without question, he was the best in the world for at least one night.  This match will be akin to the Jericho—Michaels match from WrestleMania XIX in that Jericho is a legend in his own right (like HBK) and Punk is well regarded as one of the better performers in the ring, seldom having an “ugly” match (like Jericho). The Second City Savior will defend the most-prized possession in professional wrestling, the WWE Championship, against Y2J, the man who won the first ever Undisputed Championship, the six-time former World Champion (includes reigns as WWE Champion, World Heavyweight Champion and his undisputed reign), and record nine-time former Intercontinental Champion (among other titles).

Speaking of other titles and speaking of World Champions, World Heavyweight Champion Daniel Bryan will defend his title against Sheamus, the first and so far only Irish-born WWE Champion ever. Sheamus has done a lot in his first three or so years in WWE, winning the WWE title twice, the United States Championship once, and winning both the 2010 King of the Ring as well as the 2012 Royal Rumble. Bryan relies on a technical aspect with a great deal of athleticism whereas Sheamus relies more on power. The beauty of this match is that both men are relatively new in their WWE careers and both project to be very successful superstars for many, many years. And they are both very polished in the ring already. On a card that is billed as having 8 matches including the three monumental matches already mentioned, this match could prove to be the sleeper.

Look for many celebrities too. WrestleMania has long been a hotbed for the Hollywood crowd. Cyndi Lauper, Mr. T, Muhammad Ali, Floyd “Money” Mayweather, Aretha Franklin, Pete Rose, Willie Nelson, Michelle Williams, Reba McIntyre, Little Richard, John Legend, Nicole Scherzinger, Run D.M.C., Limp Bizkit, Kid Rock, Motorhead, P.O.D., and Lawrence Taylor, among others have appeared or performed. Last year, Jersey Shore star Snooki participated in a match and this year, Maria Menounos—of Today, Access Hollywood, and ET fame—will team with WWE Dive Kelly Kelly to take on Diva’s Champion Beth Phoenix and Eve Torres.

Men have been speared through flaming tables and from 20 feet in the air at WrestleMania, both courtesy of Edge. Men have been entombed in caskets and hanged from the Hell in a Cell structure at WrestleMania, both courtesy of Undertaker. Men have floated into the crowd on gigantic zip lines at WrestleMania, and by “men” I mean Shawn Michaels. What could happen at this WrestleMania? Tune in this Sunday, April 1^st, live on pay-per-view at a special start time of 7p eastern time to find out!

Below, please find my predictions. Tweet me if you want an explanation. Please note that my predictions may not accurately reflect who I will be cheering for.

1.       Divas Tag Team Match: Kelly Kelly & Maria Menounos vs. WWE Diva’s Champion Beth Phoenix and Eve Torres

Winner: Kelly Kelly & Maria Menounos

2.       Total Control Match, 12-Man Tag Team Match: Team Johnny (captain David Otunga, Mark Henry, Jack Swagger, Drew McIntyre, The Miz, and Dolph Ziggler) vs. Team Teddy (captain & United States Champion Santino Marella, Booker T, The Great Khali, R-Truth, Kofi Kingston, and Zack Ryder)

                                Winner: Team Johnny

3.       Singles Match: Randy Orton vs. Kane

                                Winner: Randy Orton

4.       Intercontinental Championship Match: Big Show vs. Cody Rhodes (c)

                                Winner: Cody Rhodes

5.       Once in a Lifetime Match: The Rock vs. John Cena

Winner: The Rock

6.       World Heavyweight Championship Match: Sheamus vs. Daniel Bryan (c)

Winner: Sheamus

7.       WWE Championship Match: Chris Jericho vs. CM Punk (c)

Winner: CM Punk

8.       End of an Era, Hell in a Cell Match with special referee Shawn Michaels: Triple H vs. Undertaker

Winner: Undertaker

(c) signifies that that superstar is the defending champion going into the match

Disclaimer: matches are listed in the descending order of potential awesomeness—as unscientifically determined by yours truly—from potentially least awesome to potentially most awesome.

The Perfect Patriot

No one would be surprised if I veered off course here and divulged my always pressing need to rant and rave and “critically acclaim” my beloved Boston Red Sox. Somehow, someway, I seemingly always find an opportunity to mention my faithful Fenway fanaticism. My loyalty lies in Boston and I have made absolutely zero effort to conceal that. For those of you astute enough to catch it, yes, this is my near-obligatory Red Sox shout-out.

So now, when I seek to talk about the free agency period of the NFL, it probably doesn’t come as much of a surprise that I’m about to rant and rave and “critically acclaim” the New England Patriots. But really, it should. I am no fan of New England. My loyalties lie, and always have, in South Beach. Which, in my humble opinion, makes what I’m about to claim that much more meaningful.

The New England Patriots will win the Super Bowl.

It doesn’t sound like I’m going that far out on a limb. And the limb in question is probably the sturdiest limb any tree has ever produced. So…

The New England Patriots will accomplish the perfect season this year, win the Super Bowl, and become the first team in NFL history to reach 19-0.

Now, that may seem a bit hasty. That may seem a bit over dramatic. But they were close to perfection in 2007. And they were close to a Super Bowl win this past year. But 19-0? Beating my Dolphins twice? Surpassing my Dolphins (granted I wasn’t alive for it) as the greatest perfect team in NFL history? What Kool-Aid am I drinking?

Last preseason, I thought the Pats would win the Super Bowl, and I wasn’t far off. There are many what-ifs. What if Ted Ginn is healthy and the 49ers advance, not the Giants? What if Gronk was healthy? What if Chad “Out-of-sink-o” was on the same page as the rest of the offense? What if Matt Schaub stayed healthy? What if Matt Leinart had stayed healthy? What if Peyton Manning’s neck was in good shape? What if the Pats defense was better?

Well, I think a lot of those questions have been answered so far in free agency. The Pats have added Will Allen to the secondary, an above-average cornerback who’s played for the nemesis Giants and division-rival Miami. They’ve added a legitimate deep threat in wide receiver Brandon Lloyd and yet another threat to carve up the middle in Peyton’s former slot receiver Anthony Gonzalez. The Pats have added many other players and restructured deals with both Ochocinco and all-world quarterback Tom Brady to help increase spendable money.

And oh by the way, the draft is yet to come.

The one fly that could land in the perfect nectar that is the sweat of Brady’s brow would be Brady’s health. There are plenty of weapons that several could get injured. As long as Brady’s able to get them the ball, this team will be perfect. If Brady goes down, a Super Bowl win will have to be tainted by one or more losses. In short, this team is the class of the NFL this season.

Nir-Fan-a

There’s too many storylines in sports. So, let’s cover them all, in no particular order.

Peyton Manning

I don’t see any reason why Manning won’t return to his Hall of Fame form. He’s been medically cleared. That’s good enough for me. The best places for him to sign:

1)                          Houston Texans This team has a good quarterback in Matt Schaub, but his health scares me more than Manning’s does. Plus, Schaub will be in the final year of his contract. The Texans will likely lose Mario Williams on the defensive line, but this team is still built to win a Super Bowl with almost any quarterback. Manning makes them the instant favorite in the AFC, though so would a healthy Schaub. The Texans could look to ship Schaub for draft picks and invest in a cheaper back-up, someone like a Chad Henne or Jason Campbell. Manning is used to playing in a dome and knows the AFC South quite well. And don’t forget one of the best rushing attacks in the NFL, if not the best. Oh by the way, Andre Johnson plays in Houston.

2)                          San Francisco 49ers This team was two botched punts away from the Super Bowl and they just added one of the better wide receivers –Randy Moss—to ever play in the NFL. This team has a great running game, a solid offensive line, and a blistering defense. Manning wouldn’t be in a dome for his home games, but he would be when he visited two of the three NFC West rivals. Plus, it is rumored he’d bring former Colt companion Reggie Wayne with him wherever he signs. Manning and Wayne have developed a rapport so tight they could still connect even when the lights at Candlestick Park go out.

3)                          Denver Broncos Decent receivers? Check. Add Wayne and they improve. Sturdy offensive line? Check. Overpowering defense? Check plus plus. Running game? Check plus plus plus. For this move to happen, the Broncos would have to trade away Tim Tebow. But Jacksonville is reportedly interested there, so this move is the most likely. They would be favorites to win the AFC West, but this is the least likely of these three to provide a Lombardi Trophy this year.

Other names that have come up in conversation include the Arizona Cardinals, Miami Dolphins, Tennessee Titans and Seattle Seahawks. Arizona would be fun to see for the sheer fact of Manning throwing to Larry Fitzgerald. I don’t see Tennessee or Seattle even coming close to offering Manning a shot at the Super Bowl in the next three years, though both have great defenses and any offense would improve with Manning.

Miami. Full disclosure, I am a Miami Dolphins fan. They are the NFL equivalent of my beloved Boston Red Sox. Manning wouldn’t be bad in Miami, but I’d rather see the Dolphins plan long term. Matt Moore is still relatively young and was a good quarterback for Miami last year. With some consistency and leadership, he could flourish into a borderline great quarterback with playoff potential. I am all in favor of sticking with Moore.

However, Miami has hired Joe Philbin has the new head coach. Philbin was formerly the offensive coordinator for the Green Bay Packers. Matt Flynn has spent the last couple of years backing up Aaron Rodgers in Green Bay and is a free agent. If the Dolphins feel the need to switch QBs, I’d rather see them acquire the younger Flynn, with an eye on the future, rather than Manning with an eye on patching us through to the next QB they won’t give a fair shake to.

Brandon Marshall

Speaking of Miami, today they traded top receiver Brandon Marshall to the Chicago Bears for a third-round pick this year and third-round pick next year. This price is not enough, even for the drop-happy Marshall. This move may have been made to free up space for a run at Manning/Wayne. But if Manning doesn’t sign, then Miami is without a wide receiver with number one status. That wouldn’t bode well for Moore, Flynn, or any QB the Dolphins may start next season. I hope they are putting all of their eggs in one basket, especially since they made room for the eggs by throwing away the bread.

NCAA March Madness Tournament

I’ll be honest with you: I have not been able to pay close attention to NCAA basketball this season. The one game I saw in its entirety was between Wake Forest and Miami. Neither team really impressed in that game and neither is dancing. Gonzaga is my lowest seed that reaches the furthest, and they’re only a 7-seed. I have picked Syracuse to win it all, defeating Michigan State in the championship. Duke and North Carolina round out my Final Four.

Ryan Braun

I’ll admit he probably isn’t innocent. But, he won his appeal. This should be good for MLB. Would they rather have one of their young stars tainted with a PED test? I will remain ignorantly blissful of the overturning on his appeal.

MLB Playoffs Expansion

This is a great idea, but I don’t like it. It’s not fair that the team that wins the play-in game will home field advantage to begin the divisional series. The fact that this problem is a one-time thing proves why I think this is a bad idea. Added another playoff team in each league is wonderful, but don’t rush it. Take time and plan it out.

NBA Trade Deadline

I don’t think it’s wise for the Celtics to move any one because it seems unlikely they will get anything worthwhile in return, at least not as worthwhile as the cap space they’ll earn in the offseason. Dwight Howard should be traded. He reportedly wants to play in the LA or New York media market. If I were him, however, I wouldn’t rule out playing in Boston, Dallas, or Chicago either. They may not have the markets LA or NY have, but the endorsement possibilities will still overflow for the now-Magic center. He’ll be the biggest name moved. If Orlando keeps him, they will be setting themselves up for the heartbreak of him leaving town as a free agent.

It’s a great time to be a sports fan. Spring Training baseball is full swing. The NBA trade deadline is Thursday. The NHL and NBA are beginning to enter the homestretch of the season. The free agency period has begun in the NFL. March Madness began tonight. Even NASCAR is back in business. And on the horizon: NHL Playoffs, NBA Playoffs, MLB Opening Day, NFL Draft, and WrestleMania XXVIII.

Stock up on popcorn, potato chips and chicken wings, sports fan utopia is now open.